


6 years

by tospaace



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Minor Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Min Yoongi | Suga, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, implied/referenced eating disorder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-17 14:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11277549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tospaace/pseuds/tospaace
Summary: How does one measure 6 years?In 72 months; 2,190 days; 315,5693 minutes?In album names, in song tracks, in late nights laughing and dancing until the clock hit midnight?In unforgettable memories, in tearful heartbreaks, in quiet ‘I love you’s whispered intimately during the dead hours of the world?Jeon Jungkook measured the past 6 years of his life in the different times he found his soulmates.





	1. the songs on the radio are okay

**Author's Note:**

> //swiftly ignores and sets fire to my first unfinished yoonmin fic bc it's trash coughs//  
> I am a total sucker for Jungkook/Everyone fics because I am trash and I love the idea that they all coo and baby him even though he's taller than half of them lmao.  
> I'm not sure if I'll include smut in later chapters but just in case, should I use the underage tag? South Korea's age of consent is technically 13, making them all over it but it still seems kinda ehhhh. :/  
> If the summary seems familiar, I got inspired to write this listening to 'Seasons of Love' from Rent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //swiftly ignores and sets fire to my first unfinished yoonmin fic bc it's trash coughs//  
> I am a total sucker for Jungkook/Everyone fics because I am trash and I love the idea that they all coo and baby him even though he's taller than half of them lmao.  
> I'm not sure if I'll include smut in later chapters but just in case, should I use the underage tag? South Korea's age of consent is technically 13, making them all over it but it still seems kinda ehhhh. :/  
> If the summary seems familiar, I got inspired to write this listening to 'Seasons of Love' from Rent.

 

\------------------------

 

 

It was well known that everyone was born with a clock on their bodies—not an actual, physical clock of course—but a ‘soulmate clock’; an animated tattoo recording the time it took for you to find your soulmate and claim them as yours. This clock could stop counting at any point in your life. For some people, it stopped as early as the age of 6—but for others, it never stopped, even after death.

The clock itself was different depending on who your soulmate was; it reflected the type of person they were—subtle clues, such as their location or their core identity hidden on the design—so it was easier to find them amongst the other 7 billion individuals on the planet. Jungkook once heard a story from his mother about a woman she knew who had 10 clocks on her body but only one of them worked, and she discovered her soulmate had been the shy clockmaker that lived across town.

The clock wouldn’t stop just because you met your soulmate however—it was a bit more complicated than that. The clock would only stop once both of you fell in love with each other—usually easier signaled by a kiss—which led to a lot of cheesy and dramatic plots in dramas.

But in some actual sad cases where the love was only one-sided—either because they weren’t satisfied with their soulmate, or they were in denial about who their soulmate was—people would go as far as to mutilate their own skin in an attempt to rid themselves of the clock. It was futile, though—the clock would only reappear on another section of your body.

Jungkook’s clock was small, simple; and sat on his chest—right below his collarbones. The minimalistic clock was rectangular, with a pair of animal ears poking out at the top—at least, Jungkook assumed they were animal ears. Sometimes the clock looked like the silhouette of a dog, other times it was a cat (on one rare occasion he swore that he caught it resembling something like an alien head, though). It had 5 sets of numbers aligned in the centre horizontally—the format being _years; days; hours; minutes; seconds_ —which everyone had, but in different alignments and formats. Jungkook thought it was cute and quirky, and he spent a lot of his childhood wondering what type of person his soulmate was.

Impatient to meet this mystery person, he would confide in his family about it, to no avail. His brother often teased him and told him his soulmate was their pet dog, but his parents would just give him a knowing smile and said he would meet his soulmate in the future anyway, since they were fated to be together. It was easy for them to say though—they were fortunate enough to have dated in college.

So Jungkook did the only thing he could as a small Busan boy still in primary school—he dreamed and fantasized. He would spend all his nights thinking about how his clock could reflect on who his soulmate was.

_Did the animal ears mean his soulmate simply liked animals, or did it mean they were a zookeeper or a vet later in life?_

Jungkook sometimes entertained himself by imagining that his soulmate was an animal hybrid that had funny animal ears instead of normal human ones—or a tail so long that their apparel would need a hole in it to accommodate.

_Was his soulmate a boy or a girl?_

Jungkook vaguely realized that he didn’t mind either. He was taught from his mother at a very young age that he couldn’t help who his soulmate was, and he was to accept them (and himself) no matter what.

_Was his soulmate even in the country?_

Jungkook thought so. At least he hoped so. He heard that if your soulmate was born in a different country, the timer would have the colours of that country’s flag. His was just a default black, so he hoped he wouldn’t have to leave Korea just to find his soulmate.

But soulmate clocks were unpredictable, and couldn’t be trusted to stay consistent simply based on popular patterns.

Many people—past and current still—have tried to explain the existence of the clocks, since there was almost no information about them at all. It was like trying to find out the reason we slept, except we know that sleep at least helps us recover energy. No one knew _why_ or _how_ people started developing these inner clocks, or even _when._ It seemed that the earliest soulmate clock had never even been officially recorded by any scientist or historian to date.

Soulmate clocks were simply one of life’s greatest mysteries.

When he reached his adolescent years though, all his previous thoughts towards soulmate clocks changed drastically.

It started with his brother excitedly coming home one day and loudly announcing that his clock had stopped that morning, when he finally kissed his crush during lunch. Their parents had been ecstatic, enthusiastically giving him all their blessing and support. Jungkook, on the other hand, felt incredibly envious. His impatience that had started reaching its boiling point mixed with the fact that he was reaching puberty began making him rebellious and easily angered.

_Why should a stupid tattoo dictate how Jungkook led his life? He’ll love anyone he damn please._

He started feeling insecure of the little clock tattoo, trying to hide it from everybody—including himself—at any cost. Jungkook didn’t realize until he was much, much older that it didn’t work that way. The clock never restricted you, or tried to control you—it was just a guide. Everything else was decided by your own free will.

But Jungkook was just a young kid going through puberty; he barely understood his own body, much less the complications of such a deep philosophical topics like soulmates and love.

By the time he was 13, he had been so against the idea of following the ideals of the soulmate clock that he didn't realise how much of a wall he built around himself. It wasn't the clock he was afraid of anymore—it was _love_. As he pushed away more and more people that tried to get close to him, the more and more he became insecure and lonely.

By the age of 15—when he had already entered the idol industry as a BigHit trainee—he became so quiet and timid that he was absolutely _terrified_ when he learned that he was to debut as a group with not only one other person, but _six._ He barely made any friendships—or even _interacted_ —with the other trainees, so how was he supposed to survive his entire youth around six people that he had never even met before? But Jungkook couldn’t just throw away all his hard work now. He didn’t luck out to get this opportunity—he trained and practiced everyday and night until his muscles felt like liquid and his head was pounding harder than a drum at a rock concert. And to be offered the position of main vocalist? That was like a dream. Contrary to his real personality, he showed most of his confidence on stage, with a microphone in his hands and a powerful choreography memorized in his head. That was his passion, his dream, and soon—his entire life.

So the day Jungkook arrived at the dorm with his luggage in tow and knocked on the door, he already had a plan.

He would keep his head low and try to avoid everyone as much as he could—it occurred to Jungkook that this meant he would have to go to extra measures like staying extra late at practice rooms to make sure everyone was asleep before he went back—hopefully his group members would be satisfied with socializing amongst themselves and he would peacefully just _exist_ among them; not causing trouble, not causing any disturbance—like a living ghost.

“Yes?”

This plan was promptly thrown out the window when he was met with the most gorgeous specimen of a human he’s ever seen at the door, tall and broad-shouldered. He was so busy staring he didn’t realise he’d just been asked a question—and he was expected to answer.

“H-Hello,” Jungkook was surprised at how timid his voice sounded as he bowed deeply in respect, “ is this the Bangtan S-Sonyeondan dorm?”

At the words ‘Bangtan Sonyeondan’, the man’s face lit up in excitement, like he’d been anticipating this moment.

“Yes, are you Jeon Jungkook?”

He nodded and the taller male promptly moved to the side, letting Jungkook in and closing the door behind him afterwards. He sat down on the couch and looked at Jungkook expectantly, patting the space next to him when Jungkook didn’t move at first.

“You don’t have to look so out of place,” He laughed slightly, “this is your home too now,  you know?”

Jungkook’s heart gave a slightly painful tug at the mention of the word ‘home’, yet he stayed as tense as ever, looking down at his shoes. He gave a small nod of acknowledgement however, to be nice.

They spent the next few minutes talking—or rather, the pretty man, who introduced himself as Kim Seokjin did, while Jungkook gave incredibly short answers as he retreated more into himself. He felt bad, basically making Seokjin have a conversation with a brick wall ( _“Jungkook, where are you from?” “Busan.” “Ah, and you’re younger than me, right?” A nod, followed by silence. “How old are you?” A pause, “Fifteen, in September.” “So your birthday’s in September?” Another nod, followed by even more awkward silence._ ), but he couldn’t stray too far from his plan. He did listen well, however, when Seokjin would talk about himself in between all the questions. He learned that Seokjin was a whole five years older than he was—his birthday on the 4th of December—and that he was a vocalist too, his favourite colour was pink, and he usually did all the cooking in the dorm, having a strong love towards culinary arts.

It was then that a loud crash suddenly came from one the rooms, followed by shrill screaming.

“Aish, that’s probably Namjoon breaking something and scaring poor Hoseok,” Seokjin tsk’ed, “I should tell everyone you’re finally here, they’ve been waiting for you too.”

With that, he stood up and headed towards the bedroom, saying something Jungkook couldn’t hear. He assumed he was talking to whoever these ‘Namjoon’ and ‘Hoseok’ characters were. Jungkook took this opportunity to take a more thorough look throughout the dorm, muscles slowly relaxing with the absence of another person.

It looked very… lived-in. The dorm was—of course—messy (with 6 guys living in it, that kind of thing was inevitable), but it had an underlying tone of warmth to it. It was a nice kind of messy, the kind that told the difference between a cozy cottage home and a cold rule-abiding mansion.

Jungkook instinctively tensed up again as he heard footsteps approach, automatically standing up to bow deeply in greeting. When he came back up, he was faced with 5 new— _and all handsome_ —faces, everyone looking at him with warmth in their eyes and some with wide smiles on their lips (he found that he was strangely more drawn to the boxy-looking smile that belonged to the cute boy with the skinny frame and cat-like eyes though.).

“Aigooo! He’s so cute~!” one of them—the muscular-looking one with the elongated face shape and high cheekbones—suddenly exclaimed, jumping up and down.

“Hoseok-ah, you’re being too loud—you’ll scare the poor kid.” someone with extremely fair skin and a deep voice drawled, settling himself down on the couch as Hoseok—Jungkook assumed—replied with an insincere-sounding “Sorry, Yoongi-hyung!”

“He is very cute though, hyung,” a taller male with a...modern hairstyle agreed, leaning on the wall, “I’m Rap Monster—”

“He means _Kim Namjoon!_ ” a voice he recognized as Seokjin’s intercepted from where Jungkook had thought the kitchen was.

Namjoon sighed a little, cheeks reddening in embarrassment before continuing with a little cough, “Yeah...anyway, how old are you?”

“I-I’m fifteen, in September…”

This simple answer seemed to trigger something in the boy with the cute crescent-shaped eyes—and even cuter chubby cheeks—who was standing next to the one with the box smile. His eyes suddenly widened, his eyebrows rising up in surprise.

“No way.. You’re fourteen?”

Jungkook gave a shy little nod, suddenly insecure of how young he was—he vaguely saw Hoseok’s smile reappear again as he cooed over how cute Jungkook was in the corner of his eye—looking back down at the floor timidly. “I’ll try my best to succeed and not burden you guys even though I’m still young, so please don’t worry.”

“‘Burden us’?,” The boy with cute eyes repeated, confused for a second before laughing softly, causing Jungkook to look up again. He was met with a fond look on the other boy’s face as he gave him a warm, reassuring smile. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just- my brother’s the same age as you- so it caught me off-guard because he’s shy like you are too.”

Jungkook felt himself relax a little, the sides of his mouth even pulling up into a very small smile. _Thank God, he didn’t have to prove his capabilities to someone who doubted them due to his age again._

“Ah, I am Park Jimin by the way. This is Kim Taehyung,” He got flashed with that stunning box smile again, “We’re both the same age-”

“So that makes you our maknae!” Taehyung finished, deep voice a pleasant surprise to his cute, pretty face. His mouth opened again—presumably to say something else—but at that moment Seokjin came in, calling them all for dinner.

Most of them went in immediately—minus Yoongi, who had somehow fallen asleep in that short time and had to be dragged in by Hoseok—but Jungkook stayed behind, the thought of dinner with six strangers—albeit very nice and friendly strangers—was not something he particularly looked forward to. Oh well, he could wait until they went to bed, or he could just wake up really early the next morning and eat breakfast before they woke up.

Except that this plan was also intercepted by a certain boy with a boxy smile and caramel-tanned skin.

Noticing that he wasn’t following, Taehyung stayed behind as well, looking at Jungkook with a puzzled expression.

“You’re not gonna come and eat dinner? Aren’t you hungry?”

“Uh..Not really...Besides, I have to unpack.” Jungkook lied through his teeth, refusing to meet his eyes. He was never a good liar and it clearly showed because at that exact moment, a low growl decided to come from his stomach, surprising both Jungkook and Taehyung.

“Looks like someone disagrees,” Taehyung came closer to Jungkook, “Do you have a problem with eating too?”

Now it was Jungkook’s time to look confused, tilting his head for good measure.

Taehyung looked behind him, checking that no one was around before his voice dropped to a soft whisper, “Don’t tell anyone I told you this, since you’re not supposed to know, but Jiminnie actually hated eating when he was young. He was super obsessed with all these crazy diets, and we all thought he was just health-conscious,” Taehyung sighed shakily, eyes falling to the floor as Jungkook saw them gloss over slightly, “But one day when he suddenly collapsed in the bathroom, when we realized we could see Jiminnie’s spine through his shirt and his thighs stopped touching, we knew it was so much deeper than that.”

Taehyung took a deep breath, sniffling slightly before he continued in a pained voice, eyes watered with tears as he looked back up into Jungkook’s concerned gaze.

“So if it’s something like that, please tell us, Jungkookie. You’re one of us now. You’re part of Bangtan, and we’re family, even if you don’t really know us yet,” a small smile appeared on Taehyung’s face, “I can tell you’re a good person and you belong here.”

Jungkook swallowed the lump in his throat, pausing slightly before he carefully wrapped his fingers around Taehyung’s long and slender wrist.

“Let’s have dinner, hyung.”

Taehyung’s face broke into that beautiful box smile again as he launched himself at Jungkook, hugging him tightly. Jungkook tensed up, but relaxed just as quickly.

Strangely, he didn’t mind the physical contact—usually something he was very bad with. Hugging Taehyung just felt natural, like he had known this comforting warmth all his life, but just forgot.

Jungkook was finding it very hard to follow his original plan now.

 

 

\---------------------------------


	2. but my taste in music is your face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (In which Jungkook just really has a thing for his hyung's lips. You know, in a totally hetero way.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My adorable dongsaeng [Gav](http://archiveofourown.org/users/gavriella/pseuds/gavriella) recently started an angsty vkook fic called ["it's collapsing again"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11151144) (and has already hurt me) so I've written copious amounts of really fuckin' gay vkook in this chapter to combat my pain.
> 
> Cheers!
> 
> (also if anything seems weird in this chapter it's because i wrote half of it at like 3am under the influence of sleep deprivation lmao)

 

\---------------------------------

 

 

It was about 2am in the morning when Jungkook decided that the coast was clear.

He gathered his belongings that were neatly placed in the corner of the large practice room and started heading back to their dorm, muscles protesting in fatigue and sweat still sticking to his skin.

Roughly 7 months had passed, and Jungkook found himself getting closer and more comfortable with his group members as time went by. It wasn’t something he could prevent, having spent everyday in close vicinity with at least one of them at all times — but the fact that they all spoiled him and called him their ‘golden maknae’ didn’t help either—he started developing a close bond with all of them.

Seokjin — or Jin, as he often liked to be called—was awkward with him at first. It was understandable though, they were 5 years apart. But slowly, they formed a relationship based on care and nurture. Jin—as Jungkook soon found out—had a very gentle and motherly personality, always worrying and caring about the others. He supposed it also had to do with the fact that Jin was the oldest; he constantly treated the maknae line—consisting of Jimin, Taehyung and of course, Jungkook himself—like they were his own children. Despite this, Jungkook never felt like Jin acted condescending towards him. He was always respectful of his boundaries, trusting that Jungkook could take care of himself but stepping in when he forgot to. 

Namjoon started out similarly too. He was cool and professional as Rap Monster, but actually just a big softie as Namjoon. Namjoon gave the impression of being a lot more mature and knowledgeable than the others were—Jungkook actually found out that he had been an exceptionally smart student and had an impressive amount of academic achievements—but he never bragged about it or acted like he was any better than them because of it. Even though he was the leader, he treated them all with respect and equality. Jungkook also admired his passion and talent for rapping and music, although his dancing could use a little more work. Namjoon was a strong leader—but first and foremost, he was a caring friend and a responsible hyung. Jungkook often went to him when he had doubts and worries.

Yoongi was a little bit different. Jungkook and him both had a mutual dislike for socialization and noise, and their friendship formed around that at first. Yoongi acted a lot older than he actually was, which Jungkook thought was amusing because he constantly called Jungkook “kiddo” even though he was only the second oldest. Yoongi didn’t like to move a lot, unless he was rapping. The first time Jungkook heard him rap, he was stunned. His quiet, lazy hyung had somehow transformed into this intimidating rapper with so much passion and force Jungkook thought he could feel the words physically shooting past him. He had this cool, uncaring vibe that made Jungkook look up to him in awe.

Friendship with Hoseok—who they all sometimes called ‘Hobi’ based on his stage name—had come easily. Yoongi once jokingly called him the physical embodiment of the sun, and Jungkook thought that wasn’t actually too far off. Hoseok was a naturally bright and cheery person, always seeming to liven up the room with just his presence. He especially spoiled the maknae line, but not with the same affection Jin did. He enjoyed playing games with them and just fooling and joking around, his contagious laughter making the others feel at ease too. He made the mood feel relaxed and comfortable when everyone else was exhausted and stressed after hours and hours of non-stop training.

Jimin had the same effect, but in his own special way. He was pretty timid and quiet, but was the one who usually worked the hardest. He was a sensitive soul, always willing and eager to lend an ear if anyone needed to vent. He was the most likely to notice if someone was sad, and then quietly give support to that person. Unlike Hoseok’s loud and bubbly style, Jimin gave him feelings of peaceful calmness and comfort. Jungkook secretly treasured the nights when he and Jimin would stay up after doing extra hours in the practice room and just talk. He didn’t know if it was Jimin’s familiar Busan dialect, but he felt a little more like he belonged whenever Jimin was there.

Then there was Taehyung.

Taehyung was probably the one who helped the most in getting Jungkook out of his shell. He shared a lot of Jungkook’s interests and he had a unique sense of humour that could make Jungkook smile—if not laugh—almost all the time. Taehyung lived life simply and in the moment, never dwelling too much on past mistakes or worries. Jungkook also quickly learned that Taehyung was the member most likely to do skinship. At first, it had alarmed Jungkook whenever he felt an arm snaking itself around his waist but now it hardly phased him when Taehyung would wrap his arms around him from behind, one hand usually playing with his ears or his hair. He initially thought it was just the persona he kept up in front of the camera—but Taehyung didn’t seem to have one. He showed all his emotions genuinely and passionately, which Jungkook admired. He also possessed a certain warmth that made Jungkook feel strangely at peace—his deep Daegu accent was like home, except he felt more right with Taehyung than he ever felt with his actual family back at Busan. 

Jungkook finally felt like he had a purpose; like his life was finally given meaning. Bangtan was starting to feel like a second family to him, and he hoped this kind of happiness would last forever.

Despite all this though, he still felt uncomfortable showering or exposing himself when any of them were around, for fear that they would see his soulmate clock. It wasn’t just that he was still extremely insecure about himself, but soulmate clocks were just a very intimate and personal thing in general—meant to only be shared with people who were very close to you. He knew a couple of his hyungs had already shared their clocks with some of them—Yoongi, for example, whose clock was an antique-looking pocket watch on his wrist that resembled the sun (though the main reason he shared it with them was that it was just getting too inconvenient to keep wearing long-sleeved shirts and concealer all the time)—but Jungkook was going to bring his clock with him to the grave, especially since it kept giving him weird tingling feelings all over his chest nowadays, which seemed most prominent whenever he was around Taehyung.

At 2.30am, Jungkook stepped out of the shower and promptly got dressed, eager to collapse into the warm embrace of his bed.

As he made his way to his shared bedroom with Namjoon, he heard strangely quiet, muffled noises coming from the kitchen, where he noticed the lights had been turned on. When Jungkook came closer, he realized with a jolt that the noises were the sounds of crying, coming from one of his hyungs. Jungkook slowly entered the kitchen, calling out to him in concern.

“Tae-hyung?”

The small caramel-skinned boy was cowering on one of the dining chairs furthest away from the door, knees pressed to his chest as he quickly tried to cover his face even more, shaking violently from the sobs he tried to contain within himself.

“Tae-hyung,” Jungkook tried again, alarmed at the sight as he came even closer, sitting on the chair next to him. He had never seen Taehyung like this. Sure, he had seen him sad before—even angry—but that sadness never progressed to more than a few tears before someone else—likely Jimin—came to wipe those tears away; to erase the pain and relieve the sadness with comforting words and gentle touches. 

Jungkook didn’t know how to do any of that. He learned to detach himself emotionally from his mental state whenever he felt overwhelmed, so he was never good on the topic of emotions in general. He chewed on his lip, the feeling of helplessness never as strong as it had been at that moment as he was forced to watch Taehyung’s pain—totally paralyzed on what to do.

He was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t realise that Taehyung had moved from his initial position to Jungkook’s lap, limbs wrapped tightly around him as he released a small cry into his shoulder. 

Something about this suddenly triggered a weird reaction in Jungkook’s heart. 

Jungkook rarely felt sad—he never cried much in his childhood, and was more lonely than sad during his pre-teens—but he suddenly felt his mood drop with a sharp, painful tug in his chest as his heart started beating quickly and his breathing turned shallow and quick. 

Suddenly, he was crying too. 

He had never felt this type of sadness before. Maybe it was because of the sudden closeness of the situation, but he found himself never wanting to see Taehyung—or any of his hyungs—sad again. If this is what true sadness felt, he never wanted to experience it again.

He and Taehyung stayed like that for a while, just comforting each other in silent warmth and small touches—like Taehyung running his fingers through Jungkook’s hair after a while, and Jungkook who began rubbing small circles into the older boy’s lower back and side. In the end, it was Taehyung who spoke first after they had calmed down enough, voice raspy and unstable.

“Why were you crying?” He sniffed, half-mumbling into Jungkook’s shirt. 

“....Because you were crying.”

He felt Taehyung’s breath hitch as his body started convulsing. At first Jungkook thought he was crying again, but then he heard soft chuckles.

“What?” asked Jungkook defensively, a small pout on his face.

“You’re so cute, Jungkookie,” sighed Taehyung as he pulled back from Jungkook’s shoulder with a fond smile on his face. It soon fell after he looked Jungkook in the eyes, and he paused a little. He swallowed before speaking again, this time sounding pained and insecure—both things that Jungkook would never associate with Kim Taehyung.

“Am I weird?”

Jungkook blinked, brows furrowed in confusion.

“What do you mean?” 

Taehyung looked visibly uncomfortable now as his gaze shifted from side to side, but never reaching up to Jungkook’s eyes. He bit his lip, playing with his sleeves.

“I mean… it’s normal to like girls, right?”

Jungkook nodded.  _ Was there a girl that his hyung liked but she didn’t like him back maybe? _

Taehyung swallowed again, pausing for a bit longer before his voice dropped even softer.

“Then… doesn’t that, doesn’t that mean that- it’s weird to like boys?”

This time it was Jungkook’s turn to pause.

_ Was that what this whole thing was about?  _

Before he could think of the correct words to say in the correct sequence to comfort Taehyung, the boy had already started crying again, trying to get away from Jungkook.

“I-I’m sorry! I should’ve n-never brought it up—You think I’m weird, don’t you? I’m sorry— just f-forget I said anything-!”

“Hyung!” Jungkook said in alarm, tightening his grip on the older so he wouldn’t fall onto the floor. This seemed to just aggravate him more, as he struggled even harder, apparently under the impression that Jungkook was angry at him or something.

“I-I’m sorry! I u-understand if you’re disgusted, just p-please let me go-”

“Hyung,” Jungkook said in a raised voice, silencing Taehyung, “please stop moving around so much, you’ll fall off.”

Taehyung looked at him with a surprised expression, tears still falling slowly from his tired-looking eyes. 

“Y-You’re not disgusted by me?”

“No,” Jungkook said softly, looking straight into his eyes, “I think you’re weird, but not because of that. You’re weird because you think something like that makes you disgusting.”

“B-But one of my friends s-said-”

“If your friend told you that, they don’t deserve to be your friend,” Jungkook cut him off curtly, a frown on his face. He rarely acted like this, but seeing Taehyung like that seemed to have erased the filter on Jungkook’s mouth as he spoke candidly about what he thought, not caring whether it was polite or not. 

“You can’t change who you love,” said Jungkook, remembering what his mother told him when he was younger, “So what if you like boys? I like boys  _ and  _ girls. Does that make me weird too?”

Taehyung’s lip trembled as more tears appeared in his eyes, avoiding Jungkook’s gaze again, “Y-You’re lying! W-What if you’re j-just s-saying that so you can tell the others?”

“I won’t tell anyone else if you don’t want me to.” 

_ Though Jungkook doubted that any of them would be against it either. Hell, Hoseok was probably the gayest man Jungkook had ever encountered. _

“I don’t b-believe you!” 

At that, Taehyung started wrestling with Jungkook again, his efforts to get free more violent and forceful than the last. 

With a very real possibility that Taehyung would end up injuring himself or Jungkook in some way as he thrashed around, Jungkook cursed when his mind went blank as he tried to think of other ways he could convince the older boy to trust him.

As every second passed by, his grip on Taehyung slipped a bit more, and when both of them teetered dangerously on the edge of the chair, Jungkook gritted his teeth and blurted out the first and only thing that came to mind.

“I’ll show you my soulmate clock!”

Taehyung immediately halted all actions, looking at Jungkook in shock. 

_ WHAT. _

If he could, Jungkook would also look at himself in shock.

The showing of a soulmate clock was something sacred and personal, and it usually only occurred when one wanted to show their true, genuine feelings to someone. The fact that shy, timid Jungkook even offered to was proof of his trust and honesty.

“R-Really?” Taehyung asked in hushed tones, eyes widening comically.

For a passing second, Jungkook thought he was being possessed, because for some reason—against his every nerve and instinct screaming at him to say  _ NO! _ —he gave a quick and short nod, actions stiff and automatic. A few moments passed where the two boys just looked at each other, stares serious and intense. 

By the time Jungkook moved again, the tension was so thick and suffocating it made his throat dry and his breathing shallow as his empty thoughts swam around uselessly inside his head. He swallowed, his voice cracking slightly. “I-It’s below my collarbones.”

Taehyung nodded, still looking dazed, as if he couldn’t quite believe it.

Jungkook didn’t blame him. Even he wasn’t quite sure what in his right mind made him utter those words. His thoughts felt fuzzy and static-y as he tilted his head back slightly and reached for his shirt collar, pulling it down far enough to expose the upper part of his chest to the cool atmosphere of the kitchen. 

It was like everything stopped for a moment.

Like the whole world had gone silent as Taehyung stared at the small tattoo, his mouth dropping to form an ‘o’ shape. Jungkook’s breath hitched as Taehyung lightly traced it with a finger, making his heart rate increase rapidly. The tingles he usually felt when he was around Taehyung now felt like a firework as he pressed gently on the clock, his cold hands a relief against Jungkook's overheating skin. He felt a tickling sensation under his chin, and realised that Taehyung had moved in closer—until he could feel the older male’s shallow breaths on his flesh.

“Beautiful.” he muttered against Jungkook’s skin, right over the clock—sending tremors down every nerve in Jungkook's body.

When Taehyung pulled back as Jungkook tugged his collar back up—concealing the clock once more—he remained close to him, still on his lap with chests nearly touching. Their deep gazes instantly connected once again.

“Do you wanna see mine?” mouthed Taehyung’s lips, sound almost non-existent. Jungkook heard it loud and clear though.

At his curt nod, Taehyung immediately moved to raise the bottom of his jumper, pulling it up just far enough that Jungkook could see the mark situated on the smooth expanse of skin above his right hipbone.

Taehyung’s soulmate clock was absolutely  _ stunning.  _ It was simple—like Jungkook's—but he felt like it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, rivaling any piece of art by history's most expert painter. Jungkook couldn't stop as his hands immediately and instinctively reached for the clock, fingers gently tracing every line and occasionally pressing into it, drawing small, strained gasps from Taehyung. 

The clock was small and cute. It was circular and white, with a pair of long bunny ears on the top and a small black bow tie on the bottom. What made it mesmerizing was the two small, red jewels in the centre—the bunny's eyes, looking around and occasionally blinking cutely—surrounded by the many numbers counting up diligently. 

When Jungkook brought his attention back to Taehyung’s face, he was met with two dark eyes staring right back at him, a soft exhale escaping his hyung’s soft lips as he lowered his jumper back down. Jungkook’s hands immediately came back to rest on his hyung’s lithe frame, fingers automatically covering the area where he knew Taehyung’s clock was. Taehyung pressed himself closer to Jungkook in response, stare somehow intensifying—almost becoming a glare—challenging to see how far this would go. 

Swallowing, Jungkook took a moment to gather his nerve back by glancing down at his lips instead, suddenly fascinated by how  _ perfect _ they looked. Taehyung’s lips were slightly parted as he inhaled and exhaled heavy breaths, his lips glossy and slightly red, swollen from how many times he’d bitten down on them previously—a habit of his that Jungkook both loved and hated at the same time purely because of how  _ distracting _ he looked after. 

_ Did his hyung’s lips always look this soft? _

He then noticed those soft lips coming closer to his as Taehyung leaned in, almost painfully slowly. He felt a pair of hands on his chest, fists clenched in his shirt—either in attempt to steady himself or to pull down his collar again to expose his soulmate clock. Or even both. 

Then, Taehyung was close enough to him that their foreheads were touching, noses occasionally grazing lightly. He was so close that Jungkook could feel the faint pressure of Taehyung's shallow breathing on his lips. He let his eyes flutter shut, waiting in heart-pounding anticipation.

Just a little more and they would… 

“Hello? Who’s in the kitchen?”

Taehyung jolted as if he’d been struck by lightning as he suddenly scrambled away from Jungkook in a blind panic—as if the mere contact had suddenly burned him—causing them both to fall to the floor with startled cries and yelps.

In their dazed predicament, they had been so lost in their own world that none of them had heard the front door opening, followed by the sluggish heavy footsteps of their leader, Namjoon—who had just returned from the recording studio, exhausted after working all his energy away on producing tracks for an upcoming album.

In hindsight, Jungkook didn’t know why he hadn’t expected this. During the tense early years of their debut, Namjoon and Yoongi worked almost 24/7 in the recording studio, tirelessly producing and composing until they were satisfied with every sound and melody. It was almost routine that at least one of them would return to the dorm in the dead of night—or in Yoongi’s case, the early morning the next day, having not slept at all. 

“Kook? Tae?”

Namjoon’s tired face emerged from behind the doorway of the kitchen, dark circles under his eyes and an unfamiliar dazed, blank look on his face. Judging by how rough his voice sounded and the slight slurred way he spoke, Jungkook guessed that the lack of proper rest was finally getting to him.

“What are you doing?”

Jungkook felt Taehyung’s muscles tense underneath him as Taehyung quickly moved to separate from him and stand up to properly face their leader—Jungkook swiftly following suit as he stood slightly behind him. He heard Taehyung swallow nervously and noticed that his hyung was clearly agitated, head fixed to face the ground as his hands neurotically fidgeted behind his back. When he spoke, his voice was shaky and brittle.

“I-I--”

“I came back from practice late again and I was hungry, so I woke Tae-hyung up?” Jungkook quickly cut him off as he stepped forward, lying on the spot and praying that Namjoon wouldn’t question the logic behind that statement or notice the obvious painful uncertainty in his voice as much as Jungkook did. 

He felt Taehyung’s hard gaze from behind him, questioning his actions. 

It was an unspoken rule within their household that everyone was to be honest with each other at all times. Lies usually led to misunderstandings and complications, and almost always—someone would get hurt in the end. 

Luckily for him, Namjoon looked as if he’d fall asleep standing if he stayed up any longer—fighting to keep his eyelids open and struggling to stay awake. So if he did notice anything suspicious with the two boys’ behaviour, he didn’t comment on it.

“Namjoon-hyung, you should go to bed, you’ve worked hard enough! Aren’t you really tired?” Jungkook continued on quickly, eager to change the subject as he moved forwards, gently pushing Namjoon toward the direction of the bedrooms. Fortunately, the tall rapper seemed to agree with this sentiment as he got ready to leave, but not before wishing them goodnight.

“You too, hyung!”

“Don’t stay up too late, you two,” yawned Namjoon, “You know how Jin-hyung gets when you don’t take care of yourselves.”

Namjoon shuffled to his and Jungkook’s shared room, apparently too exhausted to elaborate any more on that.

Then they were alone again, uncomfortable silence settling between them. Jungkook turned around to face Taehyung, disconcerted when he realised Taehyung’s entire appearance was devoid of expression—carefully guarded and revealing nothing. 

“You lied,” He said after a while, carefully, as if slowly choosing his words with cautious calculation.

“...Yes.”

“Why?” 

“You didn’t want anyone to know, so I had to protect you,” said Jungkook, voice thick with an emotion he wasn’t familiar with, “Isn’t that what you said to me the first time we met? We’re family, so we have to protect each other, don’t we?”

Taehyung took a sharp inhale, before engulfing Jungkook in a tight embrace again, both of their bodies reacting naturally to the familiar position—relieving the thick tension slightly. “Thank you.”

Jungkook smiled as Taehyung buried his face in the crook of his neck. He  _ was _ about to say something incredibly sappy and meaningful about always being there to protect Taehyung until he heard his muffled voice mumble something into his shirt.

“Your acting skills sucked though.”

And just like that, all was normal again.

 

 

\---------------------------------

 

“Have you ever been in a relationship before, Jungkookie?”

Taehyung’s voice filled the bedroom as he scrolled absentmindedly on his phone, lying comfortably on his stomach beside Jungkook, who was sitting cross-legged and was busy concentrating on a fighting game he was playing on his handheld console. Most of the other members were out today for different reasons, leaving Jungkook and Taehyung alone at home with a sleeping Yoongi in the living room. 

Valuing their lives, they had decided to hang out in Namjoon and Jungkook’s bedroom as it was the largest, rather than running the risk of disturbing Yoongi.

“...Eh?”

It was roughly 3 months since the incident with Taehyung and, as Jungkook predicted, none of the other members were anything short of supportive when Taehyung had finally decided to come out to them, not having the heart to hide such a ‘big’ secret from the others for too long. 

Jungkook had stood to the side with a proud yet smug smile, deciding to keep his  _ I told you so _ moment to himself as he watched as each member offer support in their own ways; Seokjin, who beamed with pride, an emotional “Like mother, like son” moment escaping him as Jungkook swore he saw a dramatic single tear fall from his eye. 

Yoongi, with his seemingly uncaring ruffle of Taehyung’s hair, paired with a drawled out “It’s about time, kid,”—Jungkook saw the endearing gummy smile he tried to hide seconds later though—and Jimin, who had immediately engulfed Taehyung in koala cuddles and hugs, refusing to let anyone near him until he stopped crying (not from sadness this time, but overwhelming joy). 

Hoseok and Namjoon, who were both mildly confused why this was such a big deal in the first place—Hoseok had apparently known he was gay his entire life and never questioned himself like Taehyung had; and Namjoon, who had been raised like Jungkook, taught at a young age that love didn’t have to be with people of the opposite gender only—offering hugs and kind words anyway.

As for Jungkook and Taehyung, their relationship seemed to change after what happened between them—but not in a totally unpleasant way.

Jungkook found that there was a strange spark in his attitude whenever he was around Taehyung, like a newfound energy that added a fun yet frustrating dynamic to their friendship. He seemed to constantly have Taehyung on his mind whenever the other wasn’t currently there with him. When he went out shopping with Seokjin, he couldn’t help but think about Taehyung whenever he saw anything even remotely associated with him (he couldn’t bring himself to tell Jin the real reason he bought those embarrassing bunny-shaped earrings was because he was reminded of Taehyung’s soulmate clock). 

He also found that he now saw Taehyung’s already attractive features in a completely different way, sometimes having trouble tearing his eyes off of him when he would talk to other people. He sometimes had to forcefully fight his gaze from locking immediately onto the Daegu idol during practice, not wanting to draw attention to the obvious crush he had. 

Judging by how Taehyung would also be staring at him with the same look in his eyes, and how daring Taehyung started getting with the skinship—friendly hugs turned to amorous lingering embraces, playing with his ears turned into little ‘innocent’ nips and kisses near his ears when he least expected it, comforting smiles whenever he was nervous in front of the camera turned into reassuring squeezes on his thigh and knees—Jungkook was not the only one affected by this change.

They never discussed the almost-kiss, but it was painfully obvious—unless you were blind or Namjoon—that the two had feelings for each other.

However, irrationally scared of some possibility that Taehyung would reject or push him away, Jungkook never dared to advance their relationship past casual flirting made only  _ half _ -jokingly most of the time. He argued with himself that if his hyung  _ really _ had feelings for him, he'd do something about it by now. He knew Taehyung. Taehyung was a person who had little patience, wanting things immediately and not giving up until he had it. 

Then there was the issue that they were in an idol group. 

A debuting idol group. 

If the confession failed, or—by some chance—they actually got together and broke up, what would happen to their dynamic in Bangtan? Their fans weren’t oblivious and both he and Taehyung were terrible at hiding their negative emotions. All of them had worked so hard to get to this position, Jungkook couldn’t be that selfish to ruin that just because he had a hormonal teenage crush. 

As far as Jungkook was concerned with—or as far as he’d managed to convince himself—Taehyung was only comfortable with him in that manner because they had seen each other’s soulmate clocks. 

So to say he was taken aback by the sudden question was an understatement.

“You like both boys and girls, right?” 

“...Yes?”

Jungkook glanced away from his game momentarily to look at the older male, noting that Taehyung had moved so that he was sitting opposite Jungkook now, knees brought up to his chest in a slightly closed posture. 

“So have you ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

Jungkook paused for a moment, thinking back on his past.

“Not really.”

“Eh?! Seriously?” 

“Hm?”

“Well, you’re so handsome and cute I thought you would’ve been like Jin-hyung. Remember that time he told us he once got like, a dozen roses and chocolates for Valentine’s Day?” 

Jungkook nodded. It wasn’t much of a surprise really. Heterosexual or not, anyone could see the eldest member’s charm and beauty. And the fact that he had a kind and caring personality only added to that, making him even more attractive.

“Have you ever wanted one?”

“...One what? A Valentine’s Day gift?”

“No, a boyfriend.” Taehyung laughed, “Don’t you wanna know what it feels like to be in a relationship? They make it look so fun in movies! Imagine having someone who…”

Jungkook’s thoughts wandered as he let his best friend ramble on about the fun of relationships. At the back of his mind, Jungkook vaguely wondered why Taehyung didn’t mention anything about a girlfriend too, but he brushed it off on the fact that Taehyung himself was never interested in girls anyway, so he probably didn’t think about it too deeply.

After a while, he realised his hyung was actually waiting for his response. 

Truthfully, Jungkook did wish he was in a relationship. But only if his partner was a certain caramel-skinned Daegu boy. 

In the dead of night, when he couldn’t sleep, sometimes he’d fantasize about what would have happened if Namjoon hadn’t come home late that day. Would they have ended up a couple? Would they go on cheesy romantic dinner dates or childish arcade dates? Was Taehyung a hand-holding guy or an arm-over-the-shoulder kind of guy? Were his lips really as soft as they looked? Maybe in another life—one less public, one where they didn’t have to be scrutinised daily by the perceptive eyes of the camera lens, one where Jungkook was a little braver—maybe he would know.

Now though, he could only fantasize—like he was still a child back in Busan, all those years ago.

“Why suddenly interested in this all of a sudden?” Jungkook asked instead, afraid he would let something slip if he were to say anything close to the truth.

Taehyung didn’t say anything for a while, making Jungkook slightly uneasy. He kept his eyes glued on his game screen but kept all his other senses alert. He wasn’t even playing at this point, too invested in their conversation and his own thoughts to focus on anything else.

“I have something to tell you.”

Jungkook swallowed nervously, those words making him more on edge. Nothing good came from sentences like “ _ I have something to tell you” _ or  _ “We need to talk” _ most of the time. Ignoring the sounds of his character dying for probably the 10th time since they had started talking, his eyes looked up from the game and he was immediately met with Taehyung’s strong gaze, a vague hint of nervousness hidden behind the dark orbs.

“Yah,” Taehyung’s voice was soft and gentle—with a hint of sadness—surprising Jungkook, “I was thinking about it the other day.”

He then turned his head, looking out the window instead. Jungkook’s brows furrowed as he tilted his head in confusion, moving closer.

“Hyung?”

“Wouldn’t it be funny if we woke up tomorrow as boyfriends?”

Jungkook’s eyes widened as he felt a strong pull at his heart, making it race rapidly—almost threatening to jump out of his ribcage. He felt all the breath leave his lungs and the familiar tingling feeling in his chest again, a warmth enveloping his whole torso—starting from where his soulmate clock was. 

“W-Wha-?”

“I’d make you so happy everyday. You have such a beautiful smile, it’s a crime against humanity that you don’t show it that much.” Taehyung continued, a small smile on his face but with sadness in his eyes—still not looking back at Jungkook, “Everytime I see you, I feel so, so warm. It’s a nice warmth though, and I never want to be away from you. I feel like I’m on fire, but I also feel like I’m alive—more alive than I’ve ever felt before. I-It’s like when I’m with you, everything is okay—even for just a moment. Like, just for a moment, I can pretend like the world isn’t out there waiting to judge us—to judge  _ me _ . My chest hurts every time I think about it, but I can’t stop myself.”

A few stray tears had begun rolling down Taehyung’s cheeks at this point, his voice sounding pained and shaky. Jungkook wanted to say something, to reach out and brush his tears away, to hold on to his trembling frame and never let go, but he found himself frozen—the many overwhelming emotions holding him in place as he tried to register everything his hyung was saying properly.

“Aigoo Jungkookie, you’re so mean, look what you’ve done. I’m so whipped for you I’m confessing even though I know you’ll never like me back-”

Jungkook couldn’t take it anymore. As if his entire being was offended by even the implication that Taehyung thought Jungkook wasn’t head-over-heels for him, he felt his body push itself forward, abruptly pushing Taehyung down and cutting him off mid-speech by interrupting the flow of words.

With his lips.

Jungkook was immediately assaulted by an overpowering  _ warmth  _ spreading throughout his entire body, filling him with nothing but numbing euphoria.

He couldn’t feel anything but the tingling warmth for a while, all his other senses blinded temporarily—his thoughts completely blank—as if he short-circuited. He felt complete and utter bliss, floating in feelings of what could only be described as a ‘marshmallow-like’ heaven.

If this is what it was like kissing Taehyung, he never wanted to stop.

When he regained his senses, the first thing he noticed was that Taehyung’s lips were moving against his own, kissing him back.

_ Holy shit, they really are as soft as they look. _

Taehyung’s lips were slightly chapped but glided perfectly against his own, tasting slightly like honey and orange mixed with a faint copper taste from how much he bit his lips until he drew blood. 

Jungkook liked it. 

It was just so distinctly Taehyung—pure and overwhelming, yet raw and natural.

The next thing Jungkook noticed was the nails digging into the skin below his collarbones, encouraging more fuzzy feelings to erupt from his chest. He vaguely noticed that his own hand had somehow ended up on Taehyung’s exposed hip as his hoodie was pushed up, bruising grip digging into where he knew Taehyung’s soulmate clock was.

Jungkook cursed his need to breathe as they eventually separated, breaths quick—gasping for air. Taehyung’s eyes were closed as he caught his breath, occasional shivers passing through his body as Jungkook circled his thumb around his soulmate clock.

He furrowed his brow as something about the familiar design looked weirdly different in the edge of his peripheral. He pushed Taehyung’s hoodie out of the way even more, ignoring the sound of weak protest from the older male below him as he reluctantly moved his fingers. His heart jumped again as he realised what he was looking at.

The bunny looked happier than usual, colours a bit brighter and eyes sparkling brighter than they normally would. This wasn’t what caught his attention however.

What caught his attention was the numbers that had stopped counting.

As if on autopilot, Jungkook pulled back from Taehyung who had only just opened his eyes, a slight confused look on his face. He tugged down his collar, eliciting a loud gasp out of Taehyung—who was now just realising what was happening—as he looked down to try and glance at his own soulmate clock.

From the angle he was looking at it, he couldn’t tell what all the numbers were currently, but sure enough—they stopped too.

14; 304; 16; XX; XX

14 years.

304 days.

16 hours.

Jungkook finally found his soulmate.

At first, they both sat together in silence, each looking at their own clock as the only noise in the room was their deep, heavy breaths. Then Jungkook decided to speak, mind high on adrenaline and dopamine.

“You made my clock stop,“ Jungkook mused after he got over the initial shock, a playful tone in his voice, “Shouldn’t you take responsibility for it now?” 

 

 

\---------------------------------

 

 

As it turned out, dating Taehyung was really not that much different from befriending Taehyung.

Except now he had a tendency to cutely demand kisses and skin-to-skin contact from Jungkook, not even caring that they would be in front of their entire group to declare his apparent never-ending love for the maknae.

On one hand, Jungkook thought it was incredibly endearing that the boy who was once terrified of the rest of them alienating him for something he couldn’t control was now so bold and confident with his sexuality—but on the other hand, if he heard Hoseok and Seokjin crying over how ‘grown-up’ he and Taehyung were now and how cute they were together, he might end up rolling his eyes so hard out of his skull Yoongi would be impressed.

He was glad none of the other members minded the PDA. It actually seemed to be on the contrary. His hyungs seemed to coo over him and Taehyung whenever they interacted, giving an unceasing amount of support to the both of them from the moment they found out. (Which had been almost immediately. Taehyung—being Taehyung—couldn’t stop himself from announcing the exciting news to them via their group chat shortly after their first kiss.)

But Jungkook noticed one thing that was strange during all this though.

The only member that didn’t seem to be completely on board with this whole event was—surprisingly—Jimin.

He’d catch the hurt and fallen look his hyung tried to hide whenever Taehyung was attached to him, and the way his accent thickened—usually a sign that he was lying about something—whenever he would talk to either Taehyung or Jungkook. He seemed distant nowadays, often finding any excuse to escape the situation whenever the couple was present. 

But Jimin didn’t even seem to want to interact with them separately either. 

He noticed that Taehyung and Jimin—usually inseparable by the hip—now had an unspoken tension around them, some kind of barrier between them that made the entire group feel anxious. It wasn’t just Taehyung that Jimin seemed to have a problem with though. 

Jungkook couldn’t help but feel betrayed when his long, meaningful, emotional conversations with Jimin gradually turned into just short acknowledgements of the other’s presence, usually not even making eye contact.

Despite Jimin treating him as if he didn’t even notice he was there most of the time, Jungkook felt a strange longing for the older boy stirring inside him. It wasn’t necessarily romantic, but Jungkook felt like something was missing now, even with Taehyung by his side. He found himself thinking more about Jimin. How he was feeling, if he was actually happy with the news of the new couple, if he was okay with all of this. 

He didn’t feel the love in his and Taehyung’s relationship diminish at all though. He was still very happy with Taehyung and he wouldn’t have it any other way. Getting himself and Taehyung to this stage had been a long and emotionally frustrating journey, and the knowledge that they were actually soulmates was like a god-send. Jungkook always thought that he’d be one of those many people who never got to find their soulmate, and just settled for someone they still liked, or died alone—forever in search for their missing half. 

So when he was in the bathroom one day in the middle of his morning routine and he caught a sudden glimpse of something  _ very  _ alarming on his body, he couldn’t help but feel like his entire world had been pulled from him—every being in charge of fate and love laughing mercilessly at his expense.

There, with faint ink lines, was a cute little alarm clock in light blue on his stomach—right below his ribcage—ticking with a new set of numbers.

 

 

\---------------------------------

 


End file.
